
Neo-fascist Italian media baron, part-time Prime Minister and full-time racist, Silvio Berlusconi is afraid of spiders, as well as Germans, according to a Reuters report that suggests that he issued a prime ministerial decree to forbid all eight-legged creepy crawlies entry to Italy.
A new law, apparently an emergency measure which resulted from Silvio’s unplannned micturation upon coming face-to-face with a daddy-long-legs at his Milan mansion, will slap a €10,000 fine on anyone caught bringing the hairy buggers into Emperor Silvio’s domain.
“We understand that the measure was dictated by the prime minister’s fear of spiders,” opposition MP Luigi Merduri told News Limited.
As for me, I love spiders, can’t get enough of ‘em. Seriously, I reckon they are underappreciated creatures; I even have a spider tattoo on my right shoulder. I’ve been fond of spiders since I was a kid, when I became accustomed to my dad picking them up, letting them crawl over him, once I even watched as he sat in front of the TV with a four-inch huntsman on his shoulder, which he absent-mindedly stroked, while watching TV.
The huntsman seemed to enjoy it.




It is hotter inside than out, but I do all right until I encounter the banks of glass doors. Each one has to be Windexed, wiped, and buffed-inside and out, top to bottom, left to right, until it’s as streakless and invisible as a material substance can be. Outside, I can see construction guys knocking back Gatorade, but the rule is that no fluid or food item can touch a maid’s lips when she’s inside a house. I sweat without replacement or pause, not in individual drops but in continuous sheets of fluid, soaking through my polo shirt, pouring down the backs of my legs. Working my way through the living room(s), I wonder if Mrs. W. will ever have occasion to realize that every single doodad and object through which she expresses her unique, individual self is, from the vantage point of a maid, only an obstacle on the road to a glass of water. 



