David Beckham has a lot to answer for

This metrosexual thing is getting out of hand. Last night on The Footy Show, Brendan Fevola not only handed out gift vouchers for free facials to the panelists, but then announced that there’s been a fad for “getting trimmed downstairs” among the Carlton squad lately. “Shaved plums” also, it seems.

Now I’m as much in favour of people making an effort to keep things tidy in the minge department as anyone, but not on The Footy Show. AFL is supposed to be a man’s game, and even putting aside my (and every gay man’s) fondness for Anthony Koutefides, I expect footballers – even Carlton players – to uphold standards of manliness and heteronormativity, not pounce around discoursing on shaved testicles and alpha-hydroxy acid fruit peels.

What next? Barry Hall in makeup? Spider Everitt takes up knitting? The way things are going, Shane Crawford‘s going to be the blokiest bloke in the AFL.