Can’t freaking sleep. It’s been like this for at least a week — up at 4, or 6, or 5 every bloody morning. Observant readers with good memories will know that this is something that happens to me from time to time.
The good news is that this morning after getting up at 4 am I didn’t just mindlessly start working, which is what I’ve been doing for the last few days. I’m not usually a workaholic but I’ve been doing the hard yards to get this website up and running for my employer. It’s utterly, utterly, utterly standards compliant (I hope), super-accessible and a jolly good read in parts.
Officially launched at midday yesterday, a full 24 hours ahead of schedule.
Launched, I say. How does one “launch” a website? Does one crack a bottle of Pol Rodger over the computer screen and intone “Good luck to her and all who surf to her”? Does one procure a gold-plated switch and a local celebrity to officiate?
I can’t help thinking of Michael Frayn’s The Tin Men (1965), a novel set in the William Morris Institute of Automation (chortle), where a team of very British boffins are distracted from their work (devising ways to use computers to do all manner of drudgery, such as pray, write newspaper headlines and generate cricket statistics) by the news that H.M. The Queen is coming to open the new Ethics Wing.
Naturally, there will be a ribbon-cutting ceremony, which requires a suitable pair of ceremonial scissors:
‘Now here’s rather a nice model, sir. This is the Sandringham. A very nice scissor – a very nice scissor, indeed. Perhaps you’d like to hold it, sir. Do you feel how snugly it sits in the hand? Try it on this demonstration tape here … that’s right, sir. Lovely action, isn’t it?
‘Or perhaps you’d prefer something more traditional? Have a look at the Osborne. A very conservative scissor, this one. I expect some people would think it was a bit old-fashioned, but as a matter of fact we sell quite a lot of them. Oh yes, there’s something about tradition, sir, whatever they say…
‘This one, sir? This is the Holyrood. It’s a heavy-duty scissor for the thicker tape. You’ll find some of your big contractors and engineering firms put up a very heavy gauge tape if you don’t watch them.
‘Now this one’s the Balmoral. Very fashionable now, sir.’
(Extract from the other fan of this book.)
Anyway, we didn’t get a pair of ceremonial scissors or anything fancy, we just flipped the switch and sent out an email. A pity, really, I could have made use of a Sandringham around the office.
So now, having rebuilt the firm’s website, I wake at 4 am with nothing more to occupy me than you, gentle reader. After tying up a few loose ends today, I’m taking holidays for the next two weeks, to lie on the beach in St Kilda being pelted with freezing rain.
Perhaps this will mean a return to more regular blogging habits, or perhaps soon I shall sleep the sleep of the just, like I used to. Either way it’s a win.